(An article I found both interesting and motivational… Thought I’d share)
____________
Honestly folks when it comes to health and weight loss, we know what we need to do. Are there really any true breakthroughs that will help us? Not really. Are we shocked when we hear that we need to “eat less overall, eat healthier foods and exercise more”? Nah.
At some point most everyone has been lean and then maybe life took over, things became busy, emotions were more important, things happened… who knows. But that’s life… things are supposed to happen. Nothing stays the same, it never does. People come, people go. Relationships start, relationships end. People get jobs, people lose jobs.
We can all survive these things physically… and sometimes these small stresses are what help us to take control, adapt and move on in a more positive direction.
The real problem is when events/emotions of the past take over our lives on a more daily and consistent basis… these acute events can turn into an emotional or mental downfall. The acute stresses that we should have moved on from now become chronic and ongoing, that is the most dangerous part. The mental battle is probably the most important one to master… because I’ll let the secret out, losing weight and eating healthy is really EASY… but doing it consistently while not allowing events around us and our emotional state to turn against us, is NOT.
Our mind can be our best friend… or our greatest enemy (and it’s the only true enemy you will ever have, as there are no evil forces outside of us making us do things). There may be influences in life good and bad, but we are still in full control and have a choice… so let’s choose to get that control back once and for all!
Realize You Do Have Control 100%
This is Step 1. You have full control over everything in your life such as… if you put healthy or sugar-loaded foods in your mouth, if you make time for exercise or blow it off for another day, if you stay up late or go to bed early and get sleep, what you do for a living and how many hours you work, and most importantly… what you think about yourself and the actions you take because of it.
Stop Blaming!
Stop blaming something or someone else… you’ll go nowhere fast.
I think most people really want to blame someone else. You can look in the mass media and it’s full of finger pointing. It must be the fast food industry making us fat… no wait it’s the high fat products… or it could be that TV/video game forcing us to sit down and not be outside playing in the fresh air.
Why do you need to have someone to blame? Just take responsibility for your actions and fix the problem!
The blame game doesn’t help fix/solve the issue at hand. You can blame a fast food restaraunt if you like, but that doesn’t mean plenty of healthy lean people don’t drive past it daily and decide not to stop in. Heck I could walk into a McD’s if it’s the only option and still be able to eat a hamburger without the bun, no fries and water to drink. Chances are I am not going to get overweight on that diet!
What we need to do is understand our healthy choices, take 100% control and then make those choices. You can eat out all the time and pick something (or make something healthy) off the menu. You can take the bun off a burger. You don’t have to order a soda or milkshake. You can sub out veggies for fries with any meal. We do have a choice… no one is forcing us to do anything, even if the media loves to paint a picture that way. Making someone/thing else as the evil force in our lives for everything bad, takes the control away from us… and that loss of personal control can spell disaster.
What is even more scary is the amount we can blame ourselves! Why do we need to make ourselves the bad guy? Nothing good ever comes from it. So realize you are not to blame, we are not blaming anyone, remember? If you take an action, then whatever happens, happens. You can’t change it and blaming yourself will not change the outcome. All you can do is move forward and take other actions.
Learn from the past, but then let go of it. Who cares if you used to weigh 50lbs less or had a higher paying job, how does that really matter now? You have a choice, to either think anything is possible and move forward…or forever put your life on pause to live in the past and become part of it. The latter is not living.
Mastering Simple Things
Eat right, make time for exercise, don’t worry about the little things, smile, enjoy being outdoors, help others……do that, and what else is your life really missing? The biggest rewards come from the smallest things in life done on a daily basis.…which in turn are the most important ones to follow. No big secrets here, just most people focus on all the wrong things day after day.
- Best results hands down for anyone trying to lose weight… is a diet of real whole foods. Will there be times you may eat something else? Sure of course…but you have to stay the course daily and stick with the basics. Diets DO NOT work!! Why? Because once people stop eating that way….there is no sense to take back control. Eat for a LIFESTYLE… one you can always go back to at any time.
- You have to be active every day…..take 30 min to go break a sweat doing something. You have the time….you just have to prioritize it.
- Stop stressing out about things that are trivial or out of your control. Let go of what you cannot control or things of the past, focus on just what you can do now in your life.
- You need sleep. Turn off the tv, stop staying up late, it’s your choice after all.
- Smile all the time…why not? Be happy… it’s a choice!
You Are Not a Victim
Letting go of all your worries, doubts and fears… will allow you to be happy with who you are right now.
This goes with the “no one to blame” point. No one is doing anything to you. If you feel you are a victim, then you have lost control… and once you lose control it’s all downhill from there. Things happen in life, good and bad. You can’t control everything… and bad things will happen.
What defines us is how we respond and act in those situations.
You have the choice to brush it off, smile and keep going forward. Forget what just happened as it’s in the past and can’t be changed… all that can be controlled is what action you take right now.
This is the one thing I can’t stand about modern medicine giving people a “disease”. Did they really give anything to you? Are you stuck with it forever and ever? A disease is just a fancy name to a set of symptoms that medicine can classify so they know what treatment/drug to prescribe.
Get rid of the ownership! You may “experience” knee pain, but you don’t “have” arthritis. It is not part of you… because what happens when you clean up your diet and your experience of inflammation is no more? What do you own now? This feeling of helplessness and lack of control of one’s health is deadly… and must be overcome. Whatever you are experiencing in life, don’t be a victim of anything… things happen, accept it, and just move forward and improve your life the right way.
Excuses No Longer Exist in Your World
Period! No exceptions. Excuses are for people who don’t have control of their mental attitude. We are no longer those people. Whatever has happened, whatever the circumstances… accept that they are what they are and just move on with a new plan. When it comes to our health, fitness, success or happiness… if you leave room for excuses then you will not get where you want to go.
- Can’t get to a gym? – Go outside, do some push-ups, run around, do lunges, go to the playground and do some pull-ups, just get out and break a sweat everyday… no excuses. Make it happen every day.
- Eat out a lot on the road? - You can’t eat everything on the menu. Make good choices of meats, veggies, or whatever you can create on your own.
- No Time? Too Busy? Work Long Hours? – Well that again is a choice, so you can either workout when you have the time, or make a way to work less (work smarter, find a new job, however you want to make it happen). You do have enough time in one day… actually too much time, the question comes down to how we spend that time. Choose to spend it on the things you enjoy or want to do, ignore the rest. Do some push-ups under your desk or run the stairs at work if you must, but really sit down and examine where all your time goes… time to take back control of how you spend your time, as it is the most valuable thing you have to use in this life!
- No more self defeating words – When you hear yourself say these words, stop and slap your hand, as these are no longer allowed: “I can’t…”, “I don’t…”, “But…”. Replace them with positive action words like “I can…” and “I will….”. If you don’t think it will happen, then you will not take the steps to make it happen… However, If you believe it will happen, then you will make it happen. You become what you think about.
Food is Not Your Friend
Emotional eating is something most people may agree is an issue. So why is it emotional? You feel down… had a long day and food cures your feelings? How? Could it be the sugar rush? A childhood memory? What exactly is going on here? Well it could vary from person to person, but in the end the message is the same… food can do NOTHING for you. It won’t listen to you, it won’t help you focus on a positive outlook, it won’t change the past or future, it won’t solve or cure anything… all it can do is help or hurt your body! So stop thinking Ben and Jerry is a real person waiting to comfort you. Take the personality away from food, it’s not a real person.
Food is something your body needs, it’s fuel to keep your brain, heart, lungs and all cells working. Feed it all the wrong stuff and things may start working incorrectly. So not only are we going to try and get rid of these emotions in the first place… we are also going to take away food as an escape. If you can’t do either of those things… then you are in for a long road of ups and downs both emotionally and when it comes to your weight loss/gain.
We need to stop the yo-yo and keep it steady and consistent. Food is just fuel for the body….or in some cases a destructive force. Nothing else. If you need a real friend, pick up the phone and call someone… don’t pick up the spoon and eat till you are sick to your stomach, that solves nothing.
Don’t Put off Anything for Tomorrow
Either you do something now or you don’t. Don’t tell yourself “I’ll do it later”. Unless you have it scheduled it won’t get done. We all know this. We have all done this whether it is paying bills, calling an old friend, doing our taxes, or working out. So no more procrastination or putting off what you need to do right now. You can sit down and prioritize what you need to do, but by the end of that day everything on your list has to be done! No exceptions… no excuses. As Nike says… ”Just Do It!”
You Can’t Change the Past, Live Now!
The journey is now… life is in the present moment only.
Fear, Self Doubt, Depression… where do they all live? In the past or future? What do you really fear? Fear of failure? Fear of losing something/someone? Fear of something happening to you?
None of it has actually happened and may never happen. It’s wasted energy.
Self Doubt… where is that coming from? The past. Maybe you think because something happened before that you can’t do anything going forward. Do you see things as failures in the past? Well guess what… from now on there are no failures of any kind in your life.
All you have are actions and results. If the results were not what you wanted then you learn and try again. Failure is when you give ownership to a result because of your action. You don’t own it! It’s not part of you. How many successful businessmen try things that don’t work out the way they want them to, yet keep moving on in life trying more things? They all do.
Depression is in the past too. This usually comes from thinking you are missing something in your life. Where does that perception come from? Someone breaks up with you? You gain some weight? Where? only you have that answer. Another case of ownership… you are not depressed, you don’t “own it” for yourself, you are not identified by it. You can “feel” depressed but you can never actually “be” depressed.
Find what you think you are lacking and then realize you have everything you need to be happy right now, if you give up your past attachments. If you were hypnotized to only remember the last hour of your life… you would want to be the happiest person on earth! So live in the present… use the lessons from the past, they do not own you or define who you are. Make the decision on just what you need to do right now. Laugh in the face of so called “failure”… because it doesn’t exist anymore and just means you are trying. Life without trying is not going to get you anywhere. Use the time you have to explore and live life the way you want without ever living in the past.
There Is No Quick Fix to Anything
Three minute workouts and losing 50 lbs in a week sells books, supplements and magazines… it’s not reality. Don’t expect any quick fix other than what you can do with a regiment of eating healthy and exercise. The body will only go one maximum speed, but most of us are far from even reaching that potential.
Now not to say that eating a certain way or increasing exercise may help get you closer to that one optimal speed, but anything that looks like a shortcut… is just marketing hype. The old saying has been around for a reason, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is”. You can make great progress in weight loss and health on a steady and consistent healthy eating and exercise regiment, don’t fall for the marketing hype of other people that just want to make a quick buck.
Anything is Possible, If You Believe it!
The old saying is true, “The only limits in life are the ones you put on yourself”. If you think you can, then you will. If you say you can’t, then you won’t. It’s that simple. You become what you think about. So time for negative and self-defeating thoughts are done and gone. Remember, you don’t own them… you just experience them, and from now on you are going to choose not to think that way ever again. You have the choice and control.
Wake Up! Be Aware of Every Moment.
Stop sleepwalking through life and “Wake Up!”… Otherwise you are just living in a dream world.
This is key for all progress in the mental battle. You have to “Wake Up” and be aware of what you are thinking in each present moment and see why. Most people are just mentally “Sleepwalking” through life reacting to anything thrown in front of them.
Become a 3rd party observer of yourself. Step out of your body and watch it from a distance like you were on TV. Watch your actions, your thoughts… see what you are thinking and why. Once you see something as it truly is in life (an emotion, a negative feeling, stress and worry, fear and doubt, happiness and thrills, whatever you are experiencing), you can drop your attachment to it… it’s that easy.
Don’t attach your happiness to any person or thing either, because nothing lasts… and when that thing or person goes away, so does your perceived happiness. Enjoy people/things when you experience them… yet let them be unattached to you when/if they walk away. You’ll never get the monkey off your back if you don’t realize it is there in the first place.
Make your day a series of just being aware of the present moment. All day long… practice just being aware of what is really going on. The more you practice, the better you will get at it. Monks do it all day on a mountain top, just sitting in the present moment.
You can do it in your car (turn off the radio and just be present at driving, see there is nowhere to go but where you are now, stop being in such a rush), at work (see where you spend your time, are you reacting to phone and email or do you have a plan and get your work done on time), at home (what are you spending your time on, what are you thinking you need to do, are you just watching TV and being distracted so you don’t have to be present and aware? Shut off the TV and just enjoy the moment), sitting on a park bench (nature always helps us get back to slowing down and appreciating the present moment. Look at a bird, a tree… they are in no rush, they don’t care what time it is, they don’t care about your work, they just do what they do one present moment at a time)… be present anywhere and everywhere you go!
They key is you have to do it. The goal is not to become the expert at it… the goal is just to apply and use it. Say to yourself “NOW”… as a reminder to just stop, sit back and watch what is really going on. Tell yourself that as much as you can especially in times that you are “feeling” (you don’t own it remember?) sad, depressed, happy, or just anytime. Examine all emotions and see what makes them tick at heart. Without action… nothing happens.
Keep it Simple, Stick to the Basics and Live the Journey!
- Health and Weight loss is simple - Follow the basics of healthy eating and be active daily.
- You have 100% control - Now live your life the way you want to.
- No more Excuses, No one left to Blame - Don’t look for someone to take the blame, there is no blame anymore. Don’t beat yourself up, you are not to blame for anything. Forget the past, and focus just on what you need to do right now!
- “Wake Up” and Live in the Moment - Don’t be asleep like most. Take action on purpose… just don’t react to anything that comes along. Take time to just live and experience life all around you. “Watch” yourself from a distance, and release your attachments. Be Free!
- All you have is actions and results – Failure or success is non-existent and doesn’t matter anymore. Just keep taking actions and moving forward in life one moment at a time. You will become whatever you focus on… so focus on making things happen.
- Enjoy the Journey – That is what life is… and we only get one turn (as far as I know). Don’t live for regrets or be left to wonder “what if”. Make anything happen, dream big, try anything… if you think you can, you will!
Lastly, help others to “wake up” also in their own journey in life… as that could be the greatest thing you could ever do for another person. That itself could also bring a lot of meaning and happiness back to you.
_______________
About the Author:
Mike O’Donnell is a professional health & fitness coach, co-editor at Fitness Spotlight, fitness expert for Hilton’s Homewood Suites brand, and author of the IF Life Revolution ebooks. Follow through his Facebook profile too.
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
